06/29/05

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Mom + Dad + beer - condom = me

People who think they know everything are annoying to those of us who do

Conserve water, drink beer

The rich get richer and the poor get children

Don't breed them if you can't feed them

Drugs cause amnesia, and other things I can't remember

Harassing me about my smoking may be hazardous to your health!

Marriage is not like war: You sleep with the enemy

Don't lead me to temptation... I can find it by myself

A good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else

Bad Spellers Untie!

You must master your joystick, as a fisherman masters bait

Those who know do not say, those who say do not know

The road to success is always under construction

I'm looking forward to regretting this

'Pessimist' is a word used by optimists to describe someone who sees the world for what it really is

Alcohol releases the inner retard in all of us...

Life is like a pack of chewing-gum; I've yet to figure out why

What is a friend? 1 soul in 2 bodies

There are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet

If you tell someone you like people, they can't resist liking you back

He/She who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare, who has one enemy will meet him everywhere

Misfortune shows those who are not really friends

Nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely as success - yours or his

True friendship is a plant of slow growth

A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute

Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods

A friend who turns into a enemy has never been a friend

A faithful friend is the medicine of life

Friendship needs no words....

The best personal mirror is the opinion of a friend

Nobody like me, so I always have 1 friend

Two are better than one

A true friend tells you your faults in private

A true friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else

True friendship never ends

Most people walk in and out of you life. But only friends leave footprints in your heart

Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty

As long as forever, I will stay by your side; I'll be your companion, your friend and your guide

Friends are like condoms: they protect you when things get hard

Friends are like good bras: supportive, hard to find, and close to the heart

Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends

Have no friends not equal to yourself

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them

We will be friends until forever, just you wait see

Side by side or miles apart, dear friends are always close to the heart

A real friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out

True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable

Life without friendship is like the sky without sun

Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship--never

Friendship is a special kind of love

Friendship is a horizon which expands whenever we approach it

The secret to friendship is being a good listener

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives

Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes

My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me

We are all alone until we accept our need for others

A true friend stabs you in the front

You're unique, just like everyone else....

Everybody has the right to be stupid but your breaking the rules!

Why do our noses run and our feet smell?

Save a mouse, eat a pussy

Keep Earth clean, it's not Ur-anus

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow

Make love not war. Condoms are cheaper than guns

Don't do it behind the garden gate love is blind but the neighbors ain't!

When you judge others you don't define them you define yourself.. :-)

The more I learn, the more I forget. So why would I learn?

You're looking at perfection, and it ain't you!

Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Never wish on 1 star more than 1nce cause your luck ALWAYS runs out!

I know that you know that I know that you think I'm the best, that's why you never tell me

We both know I'm the best, that's why you never tell me

Women/Men are proof that women/men can take a joke

As long as my boss pretends that I'm earning much, I'm pretending that I work hard

An answer to that nagging question............... I let the dogs out!

What do an Ice bear have after swimming? Snowballs!

Nobody like me, so I always have 1 friend

Girls/Boys are great, every boy/girl should own one

You know it's always business doing pleasure with you

If you throw rice at weddings, will Asian people throw hotdogs?

I’ve lost my phone number, can I have yours?

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

When I’m good, I’m really good, but when I’m bad I’m better

I'm not smiling at you, I'm trying not to laugh!

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence? I think not…

I'm fat, but your ugly. I can diet

English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England!

You may laugh because I'm different but I laugh because you're all the same

If at first you don't succeed skydiving isn't for you

Take a break like it is a sort of screen saver!

I am on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!

ScReW TwiZzLeRS!! I'll MaKe YoUr MoUtH HaPPy!

I aint guilty, im just not innocent! ;-)

Can I get your picture? I collect nature disasters

For all you who talk about me, thanks for making ME the center of YOUR world!

I'm cool, I'm hot....I'm everything you're not